Bad Blood
by bezea
Summary: Broken promises and shattered hopes. In this cruel world, we found each other. - Snk small drabbles!
1. Departure

**Another compilation of Snk short stories is born! Why? Just because I love Snk and I feel like writing. Hope you'll enjoy the stories!**

* * *

Mikasa smiled weakily at Eren, while telling him the news: the superiors sent her and Armin away; far away from "the titan-shifter" , to "not be any danger that could put in danger a mission."

Eren smirked, anger obvious in his eyes. It was stupid. Everything was so so so stupid. How could the ones who have been by his side in the hardest times, be now a danger, when the hardest thing is yet to come?

He always took them, especially Mikasa, for granted. He knew she had fought hard, trying to remain by his side, but in this moment he couldn't stop hating her for leaving him behind. Maybe he was annoyed at how overprotective she had been, but without her care, wouldn't he be killed by his reckleness?

"We'll see each other again, in the future. And Armin will tell us all the stories he learned, and you'll remind us of your acts of courage and I'll taunt because of the shrimp."

Eren almost smied. Almost. Yes, of course he could see this scene becoming real, iy was so much as them. As the signal was given, Mikasa opened her mouth to say something, but Eren was faster.

"Don't die."

And he stayed in place until he couldn't see her bloody scarf anymore.

* * *

As he remained with only corporal Rivaille, obsessed Hanji, Erwin and a few others, Eren felt the loneliness pressing his shoulders. His friends were now somewhere else, and all the happy times they spent together seemed like a dream.

From time to time, he would talk with Rivaille, his advices saddening him more. "You had nothing when you were born, you'll die with nothing." And without any friends, he felt like those words full of sorrow were becoming true, crushing his hopes down.

He sometimes would hear the number of the dead ones after a mission. Hundreds and hundreds of people with no fault at all, with hopes higher than the highest mountain. People who died because he was to be protected, for humanity's sake. People with whom he could have been friends. People who might have shared common interests with him. People who he could have remembered. But they were all dead, just numbers on a file no one cared about.

And also, from time to time, but rarely enough to not drive him crazy, he would think about _them._ He'd be worried, for the first time in his life. But as he remembered their farewell, he could sweat she would do her best to not disappoint him.

* * *

The next time he saw that bloody colored scarf, swaying in the air, he almost fell off, while warm arms were around him.

"Eren, Eren, Eren, Eren..." And she felt like she would never get bored of saying his name.

Mikasa took his hand into her, tears forming in her eyes. Her hands were now smaller, he grew older, stronger. Armin followed shortly, hugging both of them. He was now having a longer hair, tied at the back of his head, several scars on his face. Mikasa was now having a more adult traits, a face prettier than he could remember, with hair the same lenght he demamded years ago. They were all so changed, time left his marks on all of them. But they felt that deep inside, they were the same little, hurt children. But they were back, they were together again!

Armin left, going to report their coming to Erwin. Eren then finally moved, his hand touching Mikasa's face, making sure she was there. But the thought of her being dead, sooner or later, was obsessing him.

"Can we change the grave that was dug for us?" he asked, with weak voice.

"The future is in our hands. You might save humanity, but you'll lose yourself. At least have faith in me. I'll make sure to make a pretty world for you."

And as he kisses her forehead, she knows he's trying the same thing for her.


	2. Life

**Hey guys! I'm full of inspiration it seems (and i'm kind of crying because school is pressing me and all i'm doing lately it's writing fanfics and cryings over perfect character... oups) so I'm here again! I know I don't have wow-so-original ideas, but I'm trying my best ;w; Please let me know what you think~ This one is taking part in ep.6 flashbacks, basically when Eren and Mikasa first met.**

* * *

**SHE** smiles at the sight of her mother's work and she feels happy. Her childish question is passed by one to another and she lets it be, awaiting for the reunion with dr. Jaeger, a man she likes a lot, being their only visitor, and even this happening rarely. She especially likes the way he's taking her on his knees and is telling stories about Shiganshina, about soldiers who fight for humanity's safety, about simple people whose lives just passes by, without doing anything special. And she truly loves his voice when speaking about the daily life of a too energetic boy.

**HE** sighs when he hears the news, being obliged to go with his dad at the Ackerman's, having to act all nice to a princess-like little girl. But as they get closer and closer, he gets more and more curious.

His father's voice, reminding him of how he has to behave and how unsocial he is is annoying him, and he sighs again.

**HER** breath stops in her lungs as the horribly red is slowly paiting the place around hdf father's body. She can't do anything, cold shivers running down her spine and her pulse is irregular. She watches everything with eyes wide open and she barely hears her mother's screamings. Her mind stops working when her mother's also laying to the ground.

'How easily can one's life change' she thinks.

**HIS** dad is all panicked. The scene in front of them is disgusting him, as a proof of how humans can easily turn into monsters is shown in deep red and lost lives. Hope is growig in his heart as he can count only two bodies, and even though his father advises him to stay in place, his choice is made.

**SHE **barely breathes anymore and her vision is blurred. Her whole body aches and those man's voices are heard loud and clear, almost painfully, talking about life like a thing they can own. She wants to cry, her parents' death being a fresh memory, but she feels too numb, too death inside to even think about reacting to their violence- after all she has nothing left except her life that's barely even there.

**HE **finds them and his blood starts to rush faster in his veins. Only one thought is driving him forward, the scene of that crim hurrying him, praying to not find her covered in blood, cold-body, life gone.

He doesn't even think twice before lounging at that man, hatred obvious in his eyes, determination in the strenght of his arms.

**SHE** is brought back to her senses when she sees the two man to the ground, green eyes on her. She has a little faith in this world back, and she remembers having still one enemy standing. She barely has time to tell him this as well, and the man is already attacking. She takes a knife in her hand, but she can't make herself move. She sees him slowly dying and she wonders if she'll have to watch everyone near her dying in front of her.

But she sees him desperately clinging to his own life and she's a little bit envious, this meaning he has something to fight for. He's desperately trying to snap her out of her inability, and his words sink in, control is gained over her body and warm blood of a monster-like human is covering her hands, but warmer is the thought she saved his life.

**HE **is grateful and happy as they stay outside the hut in silence, until soldiers come. They first look at them with pity, seeing them trembling, but after they check out the place, they keep their distance, seeing now some kind of monsters. He's well aware of how they look and he'd like to protect her from them, but the lost look in her big, grey eyes is telling him that such a thing is not needes, as she's lost enough to not pay attention to her surroundings.

But they're not the monsters here, because the true one are lying dead, and he's keeping this opinion even in front of his dad, because he saved her body and he wishes he could save her soul as well.

**SHE **is cold now, not able to see her life continue without nothing left in it. She recognizes the man whose stories she loves so much and she saddens a little, thinking that maybe she won't hear him again. She looks at her savior and feels sorry for getting him involved in the blood-stained life of her's.

But she is desperate for finding a place to belong, after she fought for her life, and his life as well.

**HE** gives her a promise, and she cries and smiles while hanging onto the red scarf that signes the silent contract between the two of them, that together they'll continue living. 'How easily can one change someone's else life' she thinks. Her hands start warming as he keeps holding them, guiding her towards her new life.


	3. Youth

**I don't really have everything too special to say about this chapter... I take the prompts from a friend, and you can actually see them in the title. I like to think I can turn mostly everything into a eremika short story, but I'll like to keep that for you to decide. Opinions are appreciated!**

When he first took her hand in his, he felt nice. Although she claimed that she was cold, her hands were oh-so warm, and he didn't let go all the way to the home. And although she was sobbing quietly behind him, she never let go of his hand to wipe her tears. When he turned around, wanting to lend his handkerchief to her, it seemed it wasn't needed. She awaited him with a big smile and puffy eyes. And he felt a knot in his throat and he couldn't say anything. He let go of her hand and started wipping the tears that were falling on his face, for that day, for the death ones, and especially for her, who remained to suffer all alone.

He should've promised to never leave her side.

* * *

When he first presented her to Armin, he almost fell jealous; how easily she was holding his hand, talking with him so naturally, like they knew each other since birth. All day, they've only talked about the outside, and Mikasa's eyes sparkled every time something caught her attention. On the way back home, he looked at her angrily, and although he wanted to take her hand in his, to prove to himself that he still had the right to walk by her side, he didn't and kept his angry face all the way.

He should've take that hand, that was also longing for his.

* * *

When they were doing chores, all the praisings directed to Mikasa were driving him crazy. Carla was patting her head, praising her talent to sewing and she was happy, remembering the old times with her true mom, true family. But she didn't cry. She shook her hand and turned to Eren, excited to show him what she did. But he turned his back to her, looking preoccupied of setting the table, and when Carla asked him to pay attention to Mikasa, he just 'tch'ed at her. And although Carla asked him to say sorry, the one who actually said it was Mikasa. He didn't answer, and instead left the room.

He should've accepted her apologies.

* * *

When he first woke up in the middle of the night, because he had to go to the toilet, her sudden gasp amazed him, and when he turned around he saw her crying for the second time. Her face was pale, even in the darkness he could tell it, and tears were streaming down her cheecks. He stood there, watching her trying to calm her cries only to start again harder, and didn't know what to do. After few minutes he took her in his arms and tried calming her like his mother did with him, and although he was awful at that, he could feel her heartbeat calming. He could barely hear a 'thank you' leaving her lips, and although he wanted to hug her tightly and play with her hair until she fell asleep, he didn't and soon after that he could hear her regular breathing. She was now sleeping.

He should've done that.

* * *

When he first saw the hell breaking out, everyone was trying to run from the titans' way. Only he was going towards them, trying to save the most important person left behind. He was praying in his mind, hoping for a miracle that could show him that the world is not as cruel as he thought, and all the thinking was now gone from his head. He was regretting the earlier fight now, and he was running with all he could. Mikasa was only 2 steps behind him. He never imagined that the pain of losing someone so important was so big, and for a moment all he could see was blood. He looked at Mikasa, who was keeping her straight face, remembering he never saw her otherwise ever again after that night, and he felt the urge to shout at her, for not helping him save his mother, but he stopped. There was pity in her eyes, and he felt so incompetent and useless. Her words cut in him like swords and he knew it was true. He was too weak to do something, and in that moment he swore he would do his best to take his revenge.

He should've wished to protect the people that are still alive.

* * *

But now it's too late for regrets, to change something that went wrong in another time, before their left innocence went down together with that wall. They're now some war-children, some that cannnot enjoy their life anymore, because their life is stained with the blood and cries of their comrades, with the thought of death in every piece of food they eat. They do not have the right to wish, or to make a promise, because those mean nothing compared to the harsh reality of dying for not a certain purpose.

He feels her worrying gaze on him and he wished he'd do all the things he didn't back then, but he feels too unworthy, so he keeps going, ignoring her. And he wishes he wasn't a monster, he wishes he could live a normal life, where his lips could meet her's, where his friends could enjoy all the little thing without the thought of being the last one in their heads, where everything would be normal and they'd have a normal youth.

But the thought drowns into the blood that is lost and his mind keeps only a single thought: "one day"…


	4. Leaves

**Yo, I'm back. Seems like my inspiration finally came visiting, so I guess here I am, with another Snk things! Because we all love this thing, right? Well, as autumn is here and it also has its beauty, I decided to write some autumn themed Snk short stories... Yeap, I hope you guys will like it! ~**

* * *

_She picked up a big, yellow-orange-ish leaf from the ground and examined it at the light of the warm sun. The wind blew, and she pulled her scarf closer. She didn't like this change of seasons: warm colder, wind blowing, destroyal of the things she got used to during the summer. Armin was resting his head on the big tree, reading from an old, yellow-paged book, while Eren was playing with some branches, hiting a pile of leaves._

_They all knew that autumn means the death of nature. After this season would pass, all the world would in a "hibernation" state. But that was just the nice way of putting things. Poverty, coldness, hunger and deaths. That was what actually autumn was announcing, and even if they were kids, that didn't mean they were excused of being witnesses at the world's cruelness._

_"The world withers." Eren says, throwing a branch as far as he could, and then jumping on his feet, started running towards the city. _

_Armin sighed, getting up, and before closing his book, Mikasa passed by him, slipping the yellow leaf through the yellow pages of his old book._

She was remembering this scene from the peaceful days of her childhood, as she was again in the forest of the "big-ass trees". The wind blew, making yellow and orange and red leaves dancing through the air. She thightened her scarf around her neck, and she bite her lips. She was feeling the cold in her bones now, standing for several hours now on the branches, ready to start their attack at the very first titan coming through. Jean complained somewhere behind her and she, as well, was cursing the small angry man under her breath, for taking Eren away from her, _again_. Putting him to danger, _again._

__Armin was sitting on the brench, his legs swaying in the air, being even more childish that he was as a child. That thing surprised Mikasa, but somehow, she was thinking that maybe he was also remembering the much better days of a smaller them. From that time, only the yellow leaves remained. The place was now destroyed by the titans, the book Armin had was long since gone and their remained innocence felt down together with that wall. But the yellow leaves were right now surrounding them just like back then.

And as she saw the troops, in which the missing part of the trio was belonging, stopping at the base of the trees, she quietely approached them, asking for information on how the mission was going. Seeing Eren, she went to him, but stopped 2 meters away, not sure if she should say something or not. And if yes, then what to say?

"How is it going?" Armin asked, following his friend into meeting Eren.

"The world withers."

But as he smiles at her, making her feel like maybe he missed her at least a little bit, she answers him, now able to sort out her thoughts.

"But the world still succes to bloom through dryness."


	5. Warm drinks

**Ok, new chapter! I'm trying to be fast with this ones, because I want to finish it before autumn ends. Yeah... Hope you'll like it! I tried my best ;w;**

**It's an Au. Where everything is pretty and nothing hurts and no one is eaten by titans. Yay.**

* * *

She cringes as cold wind passes by her, and then arrange the scarf around her scarf. The weather was kind of despicable, with big raindrops falling from the sky and land covered in yellow leaves, but she wasn't the type to back off in front of something so small. Not when things involved _him._

Eren demanded to meet her at the café down town, and as some long time passed since she saw him last, of course she accepted gladly. Now, after they finished high school and getting a job, the time they'd spend together was very limited.

She opens the door of the café, and the usual cinammon smell says "hi" to her. She smiles a little bit, remembering the old times, in high school, whe her, Eren and Armin would spend all their afternoon here; Armin reading every single time, Eren playing cards and sometimes studying- when he was on the verge of failing-, and she drawing random things on all of Armin's notebooks.

Yeah, it was sure a nice feeling coming to old places full of nice memories. She passed the old man who was sitting at the bar, waving her hand and smiling shyly at him, feeling somewhat guilty for not visiting this place lately. She quickly looks around, and see that Eren did not arrived here yet. She sighs, and then go to their usual desk and awaits for him, while checking the menu. She smiles again when she sees that her favorite drink is still there, and then just she starts drawing aimlessly on the menu.

When Eren gets there, he already knows she's waiting for him. And as he gets close, he knows what she's doing too. After all, this was the only place that would spark up her passion for drawing. He smiles at the sight of the red scarf, still there after all this years, and he sits in front of her, saying a happy "hi".

She then suddenly flips the menu, hiding what she was drawing, and awkardly smiles at him.

"Long time no see, right?" he says.

"Yeah…" she replies in her usual tone.

And then silence again. A long, awkard one. Mikasa looks somewhere down and Eren plays with his hands on the table. And no one dares to look at the other one. A cough makes both of them stop in place. They look up, and almost laugh at the thought they got scared because of the old man Rivaille.

"You're still working here, Rivaille?" Mikasa asks, trying to pick on him.

"I guess I got used to shitty brats like you two." He replies, throwing taunting looks at both of them.

Then he takes their order, and smiles as he leaves. These two were some suckers for old times, as both of them were ordering the same usual things. Mikasa her hot chocolate with marshmallows and Eren his usual green tea.

But only they knew why they got so used to this choices. Once, when they first met, hot chocolate was Eren's favorite, while green tea Mikasa's. But in their search for each other, they tried to see why would someone like that thing better. And it turned out they fell in love with each other's preferences. At first, Eren found the green tea totally disguisting, but seeing Mikasa's hoping eyes, he would keep drinking and drinking, until the taste was something he could not go through a day without.

When they drinks came, Eren took the cup of tea, feeling his hands starting to stop freezing. She did the same with her cup, taking it close to her lips, feeling the hot steams relaxing her face. She then sighed, and put the cup down on the table.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asks, ready to talk.

But he does not reply, in exchange he sips a mouth of tea, and then makes a sudden movement and grabs the menu on which Mikasa drew. She gasps, but then let it be. She takes the cup in her hands and then starts drinking the hot chocolate, feeling her body warming slowly.

He smiles at the childish draw, a stick-figure-like of them, holding hands. She turns her head to the left, watching as the raindrops were hitting the glass, trying to hide her embarassment. Eren smiles, and then he cleares his throath.

"You're beautiful."

And the warmth she feels inside her whole body is even worse than the one caused by the hot chocolate.


	6. Driving him crazy

**First rivamika, i totally need to say which ship is because i don't usually use names in my stories, and somehow i've been taken over by all ships.**

He's watching her attentively, swaying from one corner of the room to the other, getting involved in random, small chats. The dress is almost sticked to her body and every inch of his body aches as he finds out how beautifuly she does the smallest gestures. Just putting her hair at the side of her face seems so elegant, so natural and he couldn't help feeling angry. He takes a cigarrete from the packet on the table in front of him, and lightens it slowly.

She's laughing with her hand at her mouth, as Sasha, the potato-girl is trying hard to talk while stuffing three tarts in her mouth at the same time. Her eyes are drifting to the chocolate-haired boy in a corner, who's talking animately with a horse-faced boy. She smiles a little, then she turns around and for a second he loses her in the crowd. He's trying to arrange the tie, and he feels the air barely breathable as she's back in his sight.

He finds her immediately, and his eyes trail off to the bright red necklace that's beautifully dressing her neck, and for a second he imagines her with purple marks on her neck instead and he chockes in the smoke he tried to inhale.

_This girl was driving him crazy._

He turns his attention to the man besides him, and for a few minutes he forgets about her and he's grateful, his mind being at peace, preoccupied with horse races and political issues. But then she's there, few meters away from him, and his gaze is stuck on her slim figure. He gulps, as he traces and his eyes stops a little too long on her chest, ass and legs. 'Fuck'.

He rises his glass from the desk and it's ready to take a drink, but her smell –oh, the precious smell of cherry blossoms- stops his hand mid-air. She's smirking defiantly at him, and for a second he feels small.

"May I know why you've been glaring at me for the last half an hour?" she asks, tone serious, her slim hand now resting on her hip, eyes slowly checking him out.

He's not in his best suite, and definetely not in his best condition, as this is the fifth- or was it the sixth?- glass of whiskey he has. She laughs a little bit, before letting herself fall on the couch, next to him, and for a second his vision is blurred by the swaying on her black, lovely hair. One of her hands is playing in his hair, and her lips are dangerously close to his neck, and he's barely able to breath properly.

She's crossing her legs, letting visible a part of her milky-white skin and growls a little. She smiles, satisfied, and before she gets to do any more to drive him crazy, his hand is behind her head, lips slowly carresing her neck. She moans a little, his name being let out horse.

She's up in a few second, stoping his action aprubetely, and her fingers traces his hand, finally embracing his. She finished the drink in his glass and then she sighs once, before getting into the crowd again, trying to cross the room to finally leave all of this behind.

When he pinns her against the first wall he can, after all the noise is gone, he's not the one who's in charge. Her hands are in his hair, and her kisses are the ones that gives shivers down his spine, and he swears a little when she stops it suddenly, showing him the way further and further.

_This girl was driving him crazy._

* * *

**Hello just wanted to say that i'm probably going to post a lot to this shingeki drabbles, and in general as well, because i've written a lot this past months, but totally forgot to also post it here! I have a tumblr blog where i usually write and post (it's so much easier, also so much fun interacting with the readers as well), so if you're interested you can also find me on ****_ .com_**

**You'll find some really short drabbles that i won't post here because of the short number of words, and also a lot of fandoms! (i love writing about the newest anime i've seen or the newest manga i've read). **

**Sorry for the upcoming spam, and hope you'll enjoy my stories!**


	7. Perfect mistake

**Fandom: **Shingeki no Kyojin

**Pairing: **Rivamika

**Summary: **It's all a mistake' he thinks. But it seems way too perfect to be like that**.**

* * *

His hands are tracing the lines of her hips, and she moves her head a little closer, touching her forehead with his, her refreshing breath touching his face slowly. He feels his heart aching a little bit, while she starts placing kisses along his jaw, her fingers into his hair. He cups her cheeck with one of his hands and she smiles slightly, trying to take a kiss from him, but he turns his head, her lips touching only the soft skin of his face. She groans in frustration, and she wants to leave. For a second, he lets her slips by his side, but then catches her wrist. Her black, lovely hair is swaying in the air, and she finds her stop in his lap.

He does not need to say a single words, she goes for a kiss and he lets her, because oh, what a mistake it would be if he wouldn't. She intoxicates him, in a way she creates addiction and he knows he should stop, that is a mistake to continue acting like her, pushing her even forward on the path of self-sacrificing but he can't stop, because even if she's so precious, she's just a mistake in his life, and he's ready to break her so hard, that she'll realize she made a mistake choosing him.  
But she doesn't even blink when his theet are in the pale skin of her neck, and he wonders how much would it take, and for a second, he hopes she won't break, and she'll be his perfect mistake forever.


	8. Elegant tragedy

**Fandom:** Shingeki no Kyojin

**Pairing: **Eremika

**Summary: **There's something broken, but still so pretty about _them._

* * *

It's the way that she walked, head straight, but unsure steps, that first told him that something _was _bothering her. She was absent-minded during their last meeting, and he felt for the first time worry for her. Her grey eyes weren't even lingering on him anymore, and his heart ached when she simply avoided him.

He wanted to ask her what's wrong, to sooth away the so-obvious pain on her face right then. But he didn't have the time, and as days passed by, she got further and further away from him.

It's late at night, and their bodies ached in pain because of the hard training they still receive, but he did not care in the moment he took her hand in his and wisphers full of love and care were let out. She just sighed, hugging him thight, kissing him softly.

It's the first time of the manies that came and he was so grateful for everything. For the fact that she was alive, in the time when his life was haunted by deaths. He was grateful for the way her body heat warmed the cold nights, when guilt would get ready to eat him.

But time passed by, mission came after misson, and her body starts being covered with war scars, and he noticed and he knew. The true struggle of fighting for her life, and _his _as well, was leaving marks and stabed her heart. He's kissing her scars and he's loving her more and more with every new set of them. She goes just for the lips, because no matter how hard she was biting them, they were still bright red in the morning. It was the proof that he was still a human, and she could still leave her marks on him as well.

But her eyes were getting sadder and sadder with every mission, as they were getting closer and closer to finishing this hell. Because she knew better that after everything would come to an end, she'll be left with only the scars of a not so good past, and he'd be regarded as a hero, as a monster as well, and he'd get lost along the way. She knew, she damn knew, and he knew as well that she was nothing but fragile. And with every kiss, they realised their love is only an elegant tragedy.


	9. Twenty shades of life

**Fandom: **Shingeki no Kyojin

**Pairing: **Eremika/ Mikasa centered

**Summary:** Shingeki AU, where Mikasa is not saved back then by Eren, but only much later.

* * *

Her arms were a light shade of purple and she cringed while she watched her body in the mirror of her room. The bones of her ribcage are showing through her skin, her legs are thin and trembling slightly. Her face is the only pretty thing at her, she decides, touching her red lips with the tip of her fingers as tears are streaming down her pale cheeks.

"The next client is arriving in ten minutes", her 'boss' announced her.

She swayed her hair as she turned around and started to get ready. Her head was spinning and the smell of the cheap perfume was making her feel nauseaus.

She was keeping a smile on her face as the old guy, 'her client', was entering the room. He sighed, sitting on the bed, patting the free place next to him. She got down from her chair and came closer to him, moving slowly, provoking with a sway of her hip. He was slow in taking off all the belts of the military costume, and she watched him with curiosity. He kissed her forehead, and then he took her in his arms, telling her the horrors of the titans with a smile on his face, trying to scare her. But she was not scared, neither impressed. The titans seemed like such a far-away matter for her. It's like they aren't even real, but for a moment she dreamt of being eaten by one of them; her flesh being torn apart, blood warming her always cold body…

But instead is just a sickening old man sucking the skin of her neck as she kept dreaming of the freedom death would bring her.

Her long hair was tied up with elegant hair pins, and the models of her kimono were matching the color of her eyes. Her eyelashes were longer, red covering them, matching the red on her lips. She smiled at her public, amused at the curiosity they are all displaying, seeing the exotic face, the exotic clothes, the exotic décor and the exotic moves. She knows how oh-so-precious she is, for the ones she was forced to work for, and for the ones who were paying good money to see the 'oriental beauty', a title she thought she did not deserve, keeping her point of view, even now, when men were putting jewelries at her feet, trying to catch her attention. But they didn't know she was not allowed to move more than the number let her, and she couldn't even flash a smile towards them, because she's only a doll, kept alive only for the sole purpose of being admired.

She hated the luxury she was supposed to live in. All those men were probably imagining her like a queen, but she was nothing but still a child, afraid and scared. She torned the pearl necklaces displayed in front of her, with no sound, other than the sad scream in her eyes. No one noticed her, she was getting angrier and angrier with every second that passed. Her blood boiled inside of her, her head all dizzy, the emptiness in her pressing her chest more violently than ever before. She screams for air, water, anything to sooth away the horrible pain, but she got nothing as she crushed to the ground.

There's a faint lullaby that came to her ear. The rhythm was somehow familiar, and as she opened her eyes she saw the sky, twenty shades of orange blending with the light grey of the clouds. She wished so many times to be a free bird, flying in the highest skies, free and happy, but she was nothing more than still a child.

She barely remebered what happened, her headache killing her capability of thinking clearly. Her body hurt even worse than the time when all of this started, and she was confused and scared. She could barely move, pain shooting through her body at the easiest trial of turning. She was startled when she saw her hands, bloody and flesh showing and she wondered if she'd die, the thought not bringing the happiness she always dreamt of. Instead she's desperate, she wanted to live, even broken, destroyed as she was. Tears were flowing freely on her face, and it hurt, hurt like hell, but she didn't stop, crying for all the things she didn't do in her life.

In short time she accepted her faith, and waited for the end, calmed by the beauty of the sky. Maybe in another life, another world, she'd be free as the birds in the skies. She sighed, although the chest was hurting her, and she closed her eyes.

She opened her eyes again, although she could swear she would never do. She was tired and feeling sick, and couldn't recognize the place where she was. White bandages are all around her arms and she could feel some on her legs and around her waist as well. She was curious, and the room she found herself in said nothing. Soon the door opened, and in came two boys, around her age, she concluded, chatting lively. They stopped immediately, when catching her gaze on them.

„Armin, Armin! She've woken up!"

One of the boys is screaming full of the enthusiasm, getting closer to her and then watching the other as well. She was confused and a little bit scared at the chocolate-haired boy, with an intoxicating green gaze. She got lost in the twenty shades of green hiding in his eyes, she could somehow find the peace of her childhood days, and then the other one, a blonde with a kind smile interrupted their interraction.

„What am I going to do?" she asked, voice weak, lips trembling.

„We're not going to do anything bad to you. Eren found you, all hurt, almost dying." The blonde one comes with the explications of her surroundings.

But she didn't blink. This was not the answer she wanted. All her life she was nothing more than a bird in a cage. She was scared of what the normal life, of what a future could bring her, and she couldn't imagine something so good happening to her.

„Where will I go? What am I going to do?"

„You're home already."


	10. Icarus

**Fandom: **Shingeki no Kyojin

**Pairing: **Rivamika

**Summary: **Getting too close might've been a mistake, but it's too late to go back now.

* * *

He barely lets his gaze linger on her for a few seconds and he's already mumbling swears under his breath. _She's so pretty_, he thinks. She's strong, shit, maybe as strong as he is, and the thought is making him cringe somehow because that means she has to go through all the things he did. She's mighty and her words are always sharp, her proud spilling with every one that rolls off her tongue.

She barely show any intention of paying attention to him and she barely even listens to him. It's almost like she's somewhere else, untouchable by everything he does and says.

But even those short moments when their eyes will meet are enough for him. Even those rare times he gets to see passion and determination in her eyes while fighting are enough to look at her with all the admiration he could hold for a shitty brat.

There's no way he can stop now. His hands are trembling slightly while resting on her chest and he sighs. She runs her hand through his hair, watching calmly while he's close to breaking down. He can't understand this weird girl that's borrowing her love to him right now, but he does not care because for a while now all he dreamt about was the witeness of her skin.

He hates how she has no reaction no matter what he does, like she does not care, like she is not alive enough to do so.

He wanted her so much, he admired her and then there he is right now, all his early happiness gone now that he got so close to his _sun_.

He grumbles but does not get away from her, instead he hugs her even harder, feeling her bones crack, but she's almost lifeless and he hates it so much, but he also needs her warmth so much.


	11. This

**Fandom:** Shingeki no Kyojin

**Pairing: **Rivamika

**Summary: **This is hate. No. It's love. That neither. Then what?

* * *

There's nothing certain for them and he sometimes hates it so much. How he doesn't dare to dream of a future, because the present is too black. How she's taking life in her hands so darinly, without caring of consequences.

It's a great way, he thinks, not caring about anything. But he looks around and all he sees are subordinates, people put under his care to fight and win, maybe to survive. They are all a little bit death inside. But he's the one who's the most.

She looks at him with hate, oh so obvious in every glare she throws at him. He tries to not care, but he does care horribly much and for the first time, she sees.

The way their desires are always bringing them close and the way their mouths speak what they don't even think clashes, and they're like mice and cat, throwing tantrums at each other.

He's strong, is what she thinks the first time his arms hold her. His fingers are cold and his movements are rushed and she feels anything but the adoration he claims to have towards her.

She slowly starts not caring, and soon their kisses are just covers for the silence that would be otherwise.

And he knows that's not how someone is supposed to act towards someone like her, but he can't help it because that is just how he was treated.

But she can't help it either, because _this _is too much even for her. And with every kiss, he feels daggers instead of love and she feels guilt instead of pleasure.


	12. Wonders of her

**Fandom: **Shingeki no Kyojin

**Pairing: **Aruani

* * *

It was something he could not understand, no matter how many books he reads, how much thinking he puts into it. Because everytime she'd watch at him, his mind went black, filled with only one thought.

How her hair resembled so well the golden lands in the pictures of his books, how the rays of sun would make her sea colored eyes sparkle like the snow during the winter. How her smile would set free birds in his stomach and how her lips are the red rows of tulips and her nek is the mountain covered with a small amount of snow. How her eyelashes are the deserted trees after autumn and her cheeks are the soft embraces of the sand.

He can't use an enough fitting word to describe her, but everytime he catches glimpses of her, he sees all the wonders of the outside world in her, and he just wants to explore every single one of them.


	13. Happy Birthday, Levi!

**Fandom:** Shingeki no Kyojin

**Pairing:** general/ levihan ultra friendship

**Summary:** It's Christmas, and for the first time in a while, he's not spending it with them. But maybe it's not that bad.

**Author Note:** This is my contribution for Levi's birthday! He deserves all the good in the world, oh the strongest soldier. I just want to see him sinking in presents and hugs and love because he damn deserves it **(ﾉ◕ヮ◕****)ﾉ*****:**･ﾟ✧ I can't write nice things even when it's his birthday, but shh

He's slowly sipping from a glass of wine, and he sighs. There's warmth coming from the big fire in the fireplace, but not in his heart. The wine is sweet, but the taste in his mouth is bitter, and he thinks with sorrow that another year have passed, with other hundreds of people dying on his watch.

The knock at his door makes him growl in frustration, as he should at least have this day only for himself. A goofily dressed Hanji is standing in the doorway, singing silly songs.

"You're making a fool of yourself, Hanji. What do you need?"

"Aah, you reek of alcohol! Levi, you should learn some self-control."

"I don't need to hear this from a titan-obsessed like you."

She smiles, not realising that it was supposed to be an insult, and just takes his hand and starts running, wishing him good luck at keeping up with her with the dizziness provoked by the alcohol.

Names for the crazy woman are escaping through his heavy breathes as she keeps on laughing and screaming. 'She's almost like a monkey' he thinks, before the door in the big hall is opened and everyone screams a big "surprise".

The gloomy hall was now lighten up with tens of candles, and a big christmas tree was in a corner, decorated with all the badges with the wings of freedom of the Scouting Legion. There's a general liveliness between all the soldiers who awaited him, and for the first time that day, Levi smiles.

He suddenly remembers the last few years Christmas, spent with only his squad. How Auruo would get drunk in an instant, how Petra would prepare a big cake only for this special ocassion, and how the others would play cards goofily, to make him just a little bit happy.

But maybe this year isn't that bad either. He sees all the shitty brats doing something together -and _good- _for the first time and when seeing Hanji's grin, he knows she's the one who made this possible.

"Was it worth it to run all the way here?" she asks him.

He doesn't reply, instead just refuses another glass of wine, and accepts the happy atmosphere to get over him. Everyone is dressed nicely, the girls in red dresses -leaving alone Hanji the fool- and the boys in shirts with red ties and all. It was like a meeting between santa's elves, thought which made Levi laugh.

Soon Eren claps his hands, trying to silent everyone, and Christa comes in front with a big box wrapped nicely. She smiles kindly and handes it to Levi, wishing him, before everything, 'Happy Birthday' from all of them.

His breath stops in his lungs for a second, but he regains his composure immediately. He does not say anything as he takes the present, but in his eyes gratitute is glitting so obviously.

There are a lot of things in there, and he slowly takes them out. There's a green scarf, and he knows that this was done at Eren's proposal by the girls. There's a box of rare tea and he thanks his older friends and then there's this little titan, and he eyes Hanji. She just smiles at him, mimicking a 'happy birthday'. 'So that's why her jacket was ruined and asked for a new one' he realises, chuckling like a little kid at her ideas.

Mikasa comes slowly to him, plate of cake in her hands, and hands it over to him.

"I made it" she informes, sending him her usual glares.

"It's not poisoned, is it?" he asks, half joking, half really worried by this aspect.

But as he sees Eren casually stuffing his own piece in his mouth, he dares to try it, and it's amazed at the great and familiar taste- it's the same recipe as the one Petra used to do.

"Hanji recommended it to me. Happy birthday, corporal!"

And she leaves without waiting for his reply. Then Hanji comes right next to him, patting his shoulder.

"You can really pull things off if you try hard enough, huh?"

"Don't underestimate my power over all this little ones. Happy Birthday, Levi."

He's thankful. She tried her best to organise this party especially for him, so he won't drink his sorrow. He's thankful that all those brats actually did something good for the first time, and for him! He feels just a little bit reconciled with the thought that the lost ones won't come back, as he knows that they're still living in their hearts.

He can almost hear their voices echoing in his room, while screaming 'happy birthday' at the top of their lungs. There's a bitter smile left on his face, and tearms are streaming down his face while eating the sweet cake.


	14. Neverending

**Fandom: **Shingeki no Kyojin

**Pairing: **Rivamika

**Summary: **In search for happiness, a lot can go wrong. But there's always a next time. (AU)

* * *

His heart raches in his chest with every dead person he passes by and for the first time he's terrified to the bones of those titans, He's terrified of their grotesque grins, of their strong grasps, of their easiness to kill. He lost faith in humanity for the first time, he's pretty sure that no matter how many will be sent to fight, in the end no one would be glorious.

He can't actually tell how many of them are still alive, or by how many friends he passed by, unable to recognize them because of the blood spilled all around. All he can feel is a damn sadness inside him, and uneasiness all around him.

He knows, he damn knows she must be alive. There's no way his partener, the pair of the strongest, wouldn't be still standing, doing her best.

He finds her almost giving up, barely hanging there anymore, and he's afraid and disappointed at her. They might be the only ones standing, he can't say for sure and he feels somewhat privileged by life that he managed to stay alive for so long.

He can't quite remember what he said to her back then, but he knows for sure that after his speech, they were all ready to die. There was no fear holding him back anymore, but cold sweat was covering his body.

When the first titans arrived near their spot, he could swear this was not going to end well. With a last glance to her and a slow nod of encouragement, they took off. But even with that short moment, he saw her hands trembling and discourage in her eyes.

He can't remember how or when she begun to get along so well with Ackerman, a shitty brat with some atitude, but soon responsabilities were spilt between the two of them, and the grief of coming back home with dead bodies instead of your own shadow weighed her down. But maybe that raised her respect towards him, and soon they became equals; in strenght, in pain, in courage.

Everything went down with just a second of negligence, she just tried to make sure he's still alive and her feet slipped. He sweared under his breath, but still moved as fast as he could. He pushed her just in time to avoid an upcoming contact with a titan's fist, and he fell just as his leg was caught.

It was a bit ironic, but ever since he joined this, he knew he'd die like this. She managed to save him, but his wonds were too much even for him to take, and sobs escaped her lips uncontrolably.

"Don't even dare cry in front of me, brat."

But she does, and oh how many tears felt from her eyes that day. She's afraid, and now she'll be let alone and all she can do is cry. He caresses her cheek with a hand, and his last wish is spoken.

"I hope you'll be happy."

And he hoped she'll be.

* * *

He doesn't understand how his parents could accept all those conditions in which they were made to live, work, like they were worse than pigs, when the pigs were obviously those full, old men who could do nothing but eat and order people like them around. He understood his dad humbleness and his mom kindness, and he wondered from whom he got this short-temper, which right now made him face hunger for 4 days straight.

The rain pours without a sound, making his clothes stick to his body, but he keeps searching for something, damn, anything to eat. He starts to lose power and if this will go on for much longer, he's sure he'll end like all those other idiots who left their home only to die in a fuckin' big city.

He stops a while to rest on the walls of a big, nice house, on a side alley and he sighs, wishing he had something like this too. He barely hears the door opening, almost asleep as he was, and soon he finds in front of him a little girl, with white dress and a pale-yellow umbrella. There's kindness in her touch, as she tugges his hair behind his ear and for whatever reason, he didn't feel hungry at all the moment he met her eyes. Warm smile was plastered on her face all the time he ate in a hurry the loaf of bread she handed him.

He doesn't say anything, because he doesn't even know how to react to such obvious kindness, but she did not expect anything in exchange.

"Good luck, mister."

And then she disappears, as her mother was calling her, worried.

Years later and he still doesn't know to whom to show gratitude for saving his life. He's now tied with Wings of Freedom, a group who was planning of starting a riot. He's not as good with tactics as all the others, so the dirty work is all on his shoulders. He accepts everything with a 'ts' because even though he does not paticularly enjoys it, he's grateful for a place where he belongs.

He thinks this is an easy job, killing another pig. He's a little bit amused at the way they don't have any pride, as they keep asking for mercy in their last seconds.

His plans are ruined as a door on the hallway is opened. He has a short sensation of deja-vu, but shakes it off. He's facing now a beautiful woman, and he feels a little bit flustered. Her long, black hair blurred his vision for few seconds, and it was obvious in her eyes that she knew what his plan was. She does not move, all this time she didn't even blinked when seeing him, but a warm smile covers her face, and then he knows.

"Good luck, mister."

He didn't succeed and when the news come to her she could only cry.

* * *

He knows those little brats since they were like what, 2? He hardly remembers how he used to force them sneeze their nose and clean up the mud off them in order to keep them as clean as possible. They were coming over often, playing with the old junks that he still kept in his house. He knows the little brat loves playing outside, sometimes sparring with him. The other boy is always calm, with every visit picking another book from his shelves, reading it silently. And the girl always goes straight to the photo album, checking carefully every single photo, observing the details, asking for backstories.

They're weird, he agrees in the end, but it's somewhat nice having kids to make a little more livelier his usual gloomy place.

He misses them whenever they go with their father in different cities, to supply the little pharmacy they run, but this a fact he will never accept.

Before every leave of them, they come to say goodbye to him. Eren promise him to win the next time they spare, Armin compliments his book collection and announces him he'll take some more when he's back and Mikasa is slowly wrapping her hands around his own and kisses his palm. He never knew why though, the girl acted so strange towards him, protective, but shy, with so much sadness obvious in her eyes. He waves at them as they get in the carriage, but he never smiles.

Only then he has time to clean up the place a little. He's grateful that at least the brats are putting the things back at their place. He gets the album and flips the pages, trying to find something that great about it, to keep Mikasa interested every day.

Only then he finds small paper, with notes hurriedly written on them, with small advices from the kid. The dates are written on it, and they're all days before they'd left. He smiles, and then takes the one of this was such an innocent way of showing her care, and in the end he dares to stick an appelative to her name: adorable.

"Please stay healthy."

He tries to get up, but his legs fail under his weight and the world starts spinning; the same sensation she tastes as well when she comes back home and the irony kills her again.

* * *

He works in this company 16 hours out of 24. He barely manages to sleep 4 hours. And he also has a high school girl following him 20 hours out of 24. At first she didn't say a thing, simply looking after him, and for a second he thought who is the creeper out of the two of them. Only 2 months later she talked to him. Close, she was actually pretty, with long, black hair and rosy lips, with determined eyes and warm hands.

She asks only for a meeting, and he agrees. He's charmed by the easy way she talks, by the cold face but words full of passion, by the mistery this Mikasa Ackerman was.

Their meetings were always late, at night, and would usually end in drinking hot coffee in one of the parks near the station, where they would simply chat. He sometimes wonders if her parents are worried, but he never dares to ask.

It was a winter, in their usual meeting place, while she was warming her hands with her cup of coffee, when she decided she's sick of the bitter sweet of this coffee. She just moved a little, and when he turned around, she kissed him. It was slow, sweet, tasting her with simple lips touches. She's unreadable even after that, but a smile is slowly appearing on her face. This scene seemed familiar, like someone else, sometime, smiled as kindly as her to him.

He can hear his work mates' words, when they try to talk behind his back. After all, he was labelled as a pervert for dating a high schooler, now obvious thanks to her habbit of picking him up from work.

It's the first time he asks her to come earlier, and she eagerly complies. This time they go in a cafe, and she's uneasy at the change of routine. Only after drinking half of his cup, he dares talking. There are only arguments of how this is not going to work, it's a bad idea and it was nice how it lasted. She feels like all her blood is drained from her body.

"Hope you'll be happy."

"I can't be happy without you!" she responds, at loss on how to respond to this.

"Hope you'll be happy." he says again, leaving.

But she won't be, she knows it very well, from all the times that already passed, because without him she can't find happiness. She hopes for a better luck next time as she's whipping her tears, realising that not only tragedies can kill love.


End file.
